Many people insist that there are only two genders: man and woman. This is not true. Saying this invalidates intersex people immediately, not to mention non-binary people and other forms of gender expression. Binary as a definition means involving two things, and gender is not just two things. Insisting otherwise, is insulting and offensive. Colonially, men are the strong leaders and women are the meek followers. Women have every capability to be strong, and these old-fashioned ideals about women are harmful and cultivates a culture of domestic violence.
For myself, gender is still something I’m figuring out. There are days when I love looking feminine and wearing makeup and dresses, but I love being called Ser and Mx, just because of how happy it makes me feel. I should not be expected to fit the binary at the expense of my own happiness or comfort just because someone else said so. Disrupting the gender binary would allow me, and so many people that I love, to be happy and comfortable in their own skin.
There is no right or wrong way to experience gender. Yet, stereotypes are often pushed forwards stating otherwise. The idea that men have to be strong leaders that must always remain brave in the face of danger is a myth that has been perpetuated since Europe started raging their wars on other places. This later translated into the household, where men were expected to be the leaders of their households and be a strong example for their sons. Nowadays, this idea is considered to be toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is when a man resorts to aggression in more than one way in order to feel more “manly”. One of the most popular phrases that’s associated with toxic masculinity is “boys will be boys” which is often used to excuse violence towards women. Men that follow the toxic masculinity trend will degrade men who are not active, aggressive, tough, and/or dominant.
For women, life is unsafe because of the ideology that women are lesser than men and because of the culture of toxic masculinity that lets men get away with things because "boys will be boys''. Recently a young woman in the UK named Sarah Everard was murdered while walking home. She did everything right that women are supposed to do while walking at night. She wore bright colors, stuck to more highly populated streets, and talked on the phone with her boyfriend. Her remains were found on March 10. She was killed by a police constable, someone who is meant to serve and protect the people. Male police officers aren't letting women hold vigils for Sarah. Sarah's death has sparked conversation about women's safety and women's rights. Following Sarah's death a survey was released that said 97% of young women aged 18-24 in the UK have been sexually harassed in public. This has started conversations on social media about the pre-cautions women take to stay safe and how men don’t have to deal with any of those precautionary actions so they don’t end up like Sarah. All women know that they could've easily been Sarah.
“the memorial of the beautiful sarah everard doesn’t just represent the tragic loss of a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend; but represents the fear and sexism faced by women everyday.” (@songsofus, March 2021)
@songsofus (Louise). "the memorial of the beautiful sarah everard doesn’t just represent the tragic loss of a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend; but represents the fear and sexism faced by women everyday." Twitter, 16 March 2021, 2:37PM, https://twitter.com/songsofus/status/1371923650471985162/photo/1